Well it’s official, I am the worlds WORST blogger/advocate ever! Ha! I know it has been so very long and all I can say is that it would seem that God wanted me to back up and take some time off. There are so many reasons that I have gone missing in action. But the biggest one is well, let me just show you…
Meet Emira (em-EEr-uh)! She was born a month early on April 19th after a very difficult pregnancy which included 2 months of strict bed rest. I was not allowed to change my toddlers diapers, get her meals, bather her, or anything else. I was told to sit or lay down, and that was it! So there I was pregnant, sitting day in and day out with all this time on my hands, yet for some reason I could not seem to formulate a complete thought in my head concerning my blog. I blame baby brain! It happens every time I am pregnant, my intelligence and ability to think clearly goes out the window! I am of course glad to lend my brainpower for the sake of my little one, but it nonetheless sucks a bit.
This pregnancy was one of the hardest times in my life, and that is saying a lot considering I was a single mom for 7 years! I have never felt so isolated and helpless. God definitely used it to teach me about being patient, gracious and humble. He also used it to help me let go of my very uptight and uh, “particular” ways. Okay okay, I am controlling.
In all seriousness, we were shown such love from the folks around us during that time. We had sooo many meals brought to our family, our house was cleaned by strangers, errands were run for us, our kids were cared for by others. So utterly and completely covered by Gods hand during that time, and we are so thankful to all who stood by us.
It proved very difficult trying to make sure someone was with Ari and I everyday to take care of us. The doctor recommended that due to my history of fast labor, she did not want me to be alone, ever. So here’s the breakdown; I was put into the hospital at 28 weeks and stayed for a week, then my Mother -in -law came to take care of Ari and I for 2 weeks ( flew all the way from Indiana!), then my cousin came to stay with us. For 5 weeks she took care of us as many days as she could while still having a full time job and a life of her own, somewhat.
Well, the day came and my water broke at 4:45am and 30 min later we were out the door. I was already in full blown labor at this point and we still had a 20 min drive to the hospital ahead of us. Lets just say, thank the Lord I went into labor before rush hour because I gave birth to Emira 12 minutes after arriving at the hospital. In total my whole labor was just over an hour! Yeah, fast! I have to say that typically when a baby is born, it’s a big adjustment and can equal stress and anxiety followed by a whole lot of uncertainty. For us, it was a huge relief! We could breathe again and stop worrying about the pregnancy and focus on this new little one. Such a blessing! Needless to say, we are IN LOVE!!! Emira Joy Marion Low is a precious little sweetheart baby. We are now the proud parents of an almost 13 year old, a two and a half year old, and a two and a half month old! Busy busy life, but one I would not trade for the world.
Having an infant again reminds me of when Ari was born, as that was the time that God opened my eyes to the plight of the orphan and rampant child abuse in our world. I am remembering a time when I went to get Ari from her crib and felt God touch my heart and say, “Ari is no different than any child stuck in a crib in an orphanage, no different than that child whose been abused”. I just lost it at that point and cried while hugging my infant. Emira is putting me back in that place when this whole journey began. When that passion was stirred in my spirit, that love for the little ones who cannot choose, who have nobody to love them, and those who cannot defend themselves against abuse. Earlier in this post I said that I had never felt so isolated and helpless which makes me wonder, how isolated and helpless do all those children feel? When they are dumped into a crib and never held, how isolated do they feel? When they are transferred to a mental institution, how helpless do they feel? How helpless do they feel when they are tied to their crib for days on end? When a child is shaken so hard he is mentally and physically impaired for the rest of his life, how helpless does he feel? My point is this: How many times do we look at our own lives and think of how hard we might have it, how isolated and utterly alone we may feel. But really, no matter what we are feeling, those kids are feeling it ten fold. Because our worst is not even their best, ever. They are UTTERLY HELPLESS and ALONE. Like sweet Sophia. Did she feel so isolated and helpless when she was starved in her crib for four years of her life? I had the pleasure of meeting Sophia, and she was the size of a 6 month old baby at 4 years old. When I met her she had been home a month and had already gained 5 pounds, yet she was still so tiny. She has become a valued and cherished member of her new family, and no longer has to suffer the way she had for so very long. Look at her just a few months after coming home!
No longer isolated, No longer helpless. Just look at the beauty that can come from despair…