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So Raw…

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For so many, finding out the child they are carrying, the child they have been anticipating,  has a birth “defect”, is devastating news.   I hate hate hate using that word… DEFECT.  Like a badly made pair of shoes you have to return to the store because they fell apart before they were supposed to.  Isn’t that a terrible way to look at it?  That’s how much of the world, our world, looks at these precious children… poorly made and worthy of nothing more than to be destroyed so that parents can try for a “normal” baby afterwards.

This child will be “different”, right?  Is that what people are afraid of?  Being judged, scoffed at by others for having a child who is “disabled”, deformed, or being called the “R” word.  As terrible as this is, there is some valid concern here, “will my child be made fun of?”, “Will my child have a good life?”   But should that fear, yes that is all it is, FEAR…  really make one choose to do away with their child?   Does that in and of itself justify ending a life?   Of course not!    What happened to being fearless, strong and determined?  Why are we so afraid of everything?  Is this just our culture to turn a blind eye and run from anything that calls us to rise up and overcome?

It seems every culture in the world believes babies who are “different” should be dealt with or locked away forever.  Babies all over the world are abandoned in train stations, flushed down the toilet, tossed into pit latrines and left to drown in filth, sold into the sex trafficking industry, and so on and so on…    Even remote tribes people living deep in the jungles of the Amazon believe if a baby is born with a deformity,  it is the mothers duty to kill the child.  terrible right?  I can’t even believe this happens?  This is all worse than anything I could ever imagine happening!

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I was recently driving and spotted a bumper sticker the other day.  I saw the notorious pro-abortion statement which said, “If it’s not your body, it’s not your choice.”  This statement is the most ridiculous thing.  Yet so many very intelligent politicans, doctors, educators and so on, keep saying this?  Agreeing with this, like it makes so much sense.  However, here I am looking at this statement and all I can think is this;  When you are choosing to stop the beating heart of someone other than yourself, it is no longer “YOUR” body.   Even if that beating heart is contained inside your body, it is still undeniably, someone else’s beating heart.  How can anyone who is well educated argue with that?  Its very simple isnt it?  Yet nobody seems to “get it”.

 

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And really, is it a fair argument to push to terminate a life because the baby isn’t perfect or “normal” whatever that means.  Aren’t we all “defective” and  abnormal somehow?   How many of us have perfect minds and/or bodies?  Do any of us have perfect skin, straight teeth, flawless physique, brilliant minds, personalities free of oddness and mental issues, etc?   Yeah I thought so.   So why is it so hard for would be parents to realize this?

 

What’s worse?  Finding out your child has a fatal condition.  One that will take the life of your precious love before he or she takes their first breath.  Or maybe minutes, or hours after birth.    Maybe people figure they don’t want to go through the pregnancy and birth only to lose the baby…  I mean, pregnancy is tough, I know, I have had three tough ones.  Maybe it just seems to hard, too real to actually meet this child, bond and then say goodbye.   For thousands upon thousands, abortion is the fate their child succumbs to when a disheartening diagnosis enters the picture.

But for some, many in fact… they choose life.  They choose to take the chance.  They choose to let whatever will happen, happen.    THIS is one such story.

The couple in this short video are giving us a precious glimpse into that world.    It is unimaginable.  Raw.  Heart shattering.  But it’s beyond precious… that little tiny light they’ve shared with us.  They chose life for their child even thought they knew it would be the hardest path they’ve ever taken.  And for that, I commend them.   I thank them.

 

Dissclaimer:

All this said, it is well established throughout my blog what my stance is on abortion.  However, I believe some  people try to do the best they can in their circumstances.  Many have regrets, and many don’t.  My post is not intended to judge anyone for their choices, it is only to shed light on this very hard topic.   Hateful comments are not appreciated.  If you care to share your story, you are welcome to.

 

 

 

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This is All

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Anger, rage, heartbreak questions, tears, hopelessness, agony, sorrow…  All these words…   A pit in my stomach…  This is all I have to say tonight.

 

Just read it.

 

Can you really turn a blind eye?

Best for the child?

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As I sat there watching this atrocity unfold on TV about abortion rights, my insides shriveled up in disgust over what my ears were hearing.   I heard things like, abortion may be what is “Best for the mother or what is best for the child”.  BEST FOR THE CHILD?  How is killing a child ever “best” for him/her?   It’s appalling anyone would agree with this statement right?  But then I hear on the TV,  that abortion is essentially okay if the child is going to die anyway once it is born.      Wait wait wait, Huh?!  Its’ okay to kill a BABY, yes a BABY,  in a painful and horrific way because it will probably die anyway once born. Yeah, you know I have heard of babies who were “supposed to die” at birth, being born healthy and surviving.  Doctors aren’t always right.  And even if the baby is going to pass once born, then at least you get to hold your baby in your arms when it happens,  rather than disposing of the parts in a plastic bio-hazard bag!!!

As I share this craziness with my husband, he says to me, “That’s the same as walking through the hospice wing of a hospital and just shooting everyone in the head because “they’re going to die anyway” right?”, so true!  My husband has a point doesn’t he?  I never thought of it that way and I am fairly certain that those who choose the argument of imminent death after birth as a green light for aborting the baby, haven’t thought of it that way either!  At least it would seem that way.

The voices on the television go on to say;  “No one is pro abortion, everyone is pro a woman’s choice”.   Are you kidding me here?  Sure, women should be able to choose what happens with their body, I agree with that.  However, the baby inside them is no longer their body, it’s that child’s body, right?   Therefore the woman should not get to decide when and how that child should die.

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What do you feel when you see this photo? Notice her sign…

The women at the round table continue this discussion; “18,000 abortions per year occur after 20 weeks gestation”.  This is,  “ONLY” 1% of all abortions in the US, wow that’s staggering!    18,000 abortions is only 1%, that is a huge number in itself!   I feel like I should be done listening to this monstrosity and change the channel, but despite my trepidation, I continue to listen.

They go on to say that if the child is malformed its okay to abort because it isn’t fair for the family to have to create a, and I quote, “new normal”.  Okay now I feel the vomit about to come up right about now…   Do people actually feel this way?  Do people actually choose to take their baby’s life merely because it’s birth would cause them the need to find a new normal?  Lets be clear here, any baby, disabled or not, causes the family to find a “new normal”!!!  This is too much now!  It’s all excuses for people to be irresponsible and heartless all while trying to make it seem acceptable.  Especially for themselves.  Does it help with the guilt maybe if one were to convince the brain of this?

How many times has the argument been, ” The baby isn’t viable so it’s alright to abort”.  Let’s clarify that viability in this country is around 24-26 weeks gestation.  Maybe you’re not sure what that means?  A fetus that age typically looks like this:   25 week fetus

Or better yet…    week24

This baby is actually 24 weeks, but could survive if born.   In fact babies have been born at just shy of 22 weeks and survived.   You telling me this baby cant feel the pain of an abortion?  Yeah, I thought so…  This little cutie weighs about 1.5 to 2 pounds at this age, and viable or not, it has a beating heart, a functioning brain, human features, actions, responses and feelings.  They can hear and respond to music inside the womb and react to it with kicks or grimaces.  They can suck their thumbs and play with their feet or umbilical cord in the womb, as many babies have been seen doing just that via ultrasound.  It’s a person in there, not a clump of “viable”  or “not viable” cells.    Ultrasound techs who have been present at abortions have reported witnessing the baby trying to scramble and get away from the abortion instruments. They have even seen them appear to be screaming once it has begun.  This heart-wrenching reaction has been dubbed “the silent scream”.  If that doesn’t make your heart sink, my blog may not be the right place for you.  My “mommy heart” is all over this emotion and it kills me.

I am not discounting the scars that are left behind for most of the women who chose this heinous procedure.  They look back on their choice as a moment of weakness and they wish they would have chosen differently.  But we live, and we learn, and we heal.  I have never personally experienced this, however I know women who have, and it is sad to see them endure the pain of the choice.  At the time it seems like the only way for one reason or another.  Fear.   What will she say to her family?   She is too young.  What will she do to get through it?  She has no support.   She has no money.  She is afraid of what will happen to her body.  She is utterly alone.   What if she can’t finish school?  She can’t raise a child.  These thoughts come at her like a title wave and there is nobody to talk to, nobody to tell her that there is a way to overcome ALL of these fears.  She is strong enough, but she doesn’t know it.  That this will be okay.

My heart breaks for this woman.

Me and Emira

Me and Emira

How many babies are aborted because of a positive Down Syndrome diagnosis?  Thousands! Nearly 90% in the US alone.  But I personally know people who got this diagnosis, had the baby and guess what… NO DOWNS?  What if they would have aborted merely on the doctors diagnosis?  I cannot even fathom!   What I really can’t figure out is, what is everyone so afraid of?  So what your kid is “disabled ” in some way, I use that term carefully here as I really don’t see it that way.   What about Van Gogh, Beethoven, Stephen Hawking, or even Nick Vujicic?  All of these people have some form of severe “disability” yet lead/still lead full lives!  I mean, Nick has no limbs at all and is successful, happy and has a beautiful wife and son.  Yet somehow these parents think that this child who “may” have a disability or deformity isn’t worth saving?  Sigh

Here is Nick pictured with his son.  Does that look scary or beautiful to you?  I vote beautiful!

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I happen to know several parents who have children rocking that extra chromosome and those kids are fantastic, with happy parents to boot!  They are not any more difficult for the parents to raise than a child without it.  So there you go,  all life is valuable.   ALL babies are work for the parent and cause ones life to change drastically.  Parenting is hard but so very rewarding.   It is the greatest work I have ever done, the most important work, the most beautiful and life changing, and I would never change a thing about my choice to birth our children.  Even as a single mother, young, with not a lot of support or ability to provide.  Having my son was the BEST decision I ever made.  It was scary, challenging and sometimes my infant son wasn’t the one doing all the crying.  I still say, that boy was my blessing in disguise.  He is my angel.  I stand amazed at his spirit, his heart and the beautiful young man he is becoming.    And it is all because I chose him.  I wanted him.  And now I have been blessed by him, he is my precious gift from God.

I pray every woman out there in the world chooses life for her baby, even if she chooses not to be the one raising him/her.  I pray she will see what a blessing adoption can be, and choose life.  I pray she will seek answers before following the advice of her doctor telling her to abort.    I pray she will not blindly choose to kill her baby due to the many faces of fear.   And ladies, there are so many resources out there to help you if you end up in a bad spot and need help.  Most churches have pregnancy resource centers that will not judge you, they are there to help you.  Adoption is a fantastic option and there are so many couples who would be great parents and cannot have children themselves.  In most cases, you get to choose the couple who will adopt your baby and you may also choose to have an open or closed adoption (you can still be part of your baby’s life or not), and your medical expense will be paid, and so on.  I am not an expert here, but all of these are options for you.

END RANT…

I appreciate your comments and feedback however if you do not have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Thanks for reading!

Blessings!

Little Ones Lost

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Heavy on the heart  is a common thread with me, which I feel I should apologize about.  But truly, there is no way to sugar coat the orphan crisis, child abuse, trafficking and just plain brokeness.  There is too much reality in what I blog about to be sweetly packaged with a pretty bow.

Over the months I have been so blessed to see so many beautiful children come home to their forever families, many of whom I have had the pleasure of meeting.  Many I am still waiting to meet.  But then there are so very many I will never meet, never see them as they grow and never, never, never.  Why?

There is a side of this world that should never be.  The side that doesn’t get talked about aside from those in our closed little community of passionate advocating orphan lovers and adoptive parents.  Although we stand with torches blazing and lungs bellowing, screaming at the very tip tops of our voices for all to hear, begging for others to hear us out, to see what they have been blinded to.  Please, SEE THEM!  LOVE THEM! HELP THEM!  SPREAD THE WORD!  Although we stand, this is what is not heard…  They will be lost forever, aging out and put on the streets to fend for themselves.  They will be placed in mental institutions, be forgotten, caged like animals.  They will die.   If you dont listen, help, share, or see.  Really open your eyes and look at their faces.

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Walden

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Dayna

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Declan

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Kevin

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Kyle

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Myra

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Rosie

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Stacy

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Hanson

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Jacob

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Connor James

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Leif

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Will

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All of these precious, sweet babes have lost their battle waiting for a family.  They all passed away before they could know the love of a mother, before they knew what snuggles were.  They did not get the chance to live loved by the people they were with, but rather they were all so very loved by all those fighting to help them.  We loved them, I loved them.  I believe we will always love them, think of them, pray for their powerful legacy to live on.  My hope is their legacy will bring forth change and give hope to those still waiting.

These are just a handful of the children who died waiting.  In loving memory.

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It doesn’t have to be this way.  These babies did not have to die.

Please share.   Advocate.  Educate yourself despite the heartbreak.  Donate.  Help change the world.

Alert The Media!

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Holy Moly I am publishing another post y’all!, can you believe it?!   Has it been six months yet?  Ha!  I keep saying I am going to keep up with this but alas I stink at juggling two little girls a teenager and a blog!  A girl can still try though!  Where has my mind been?  Let’s see…

Little Emi Roo…

Little Emira

Little Emira

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My Pookie girl, Ari…

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My new teenager…

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Notice a trend?  He calls Emira his baby.

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My Husband…

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The kidlets…

Like precious Hollis who just came home from Ukraine to be with his new mommy and daddy.

1005510_577601198963907_681898616_nHis parents, the Buhman’s are wonderful folks who I met recently and who helped me during my pregnancy/bedrest with Emi by bringing my family a meal.  They are super sweet and I couldn’t be happier that they live just minutes from me!!   Hollis is 2 and he was raised in a decent orphanage.  But even in a decent place, they still didn’t feed him anything but puree’d food so they could shovel it in his mouth at lightning speed.  He didn’t ever have time to chew, so he never learned.  Since gotcha day, his parents have been teaching him how to chew and sign and he is doing wonderfully.  He is adjusting very well and it is rumored he loves to snuggle with his mommy.  Isn’t he sweet?!    To read more about this amazing family and their journey, go here:  http://www.thebuhmanbunch.blogspot.com/

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Precious Reign…

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She is 14 years old, yes 14!  The extreme malnutrition and confinement to her crib has left her like this.  She is tiny!

Here is a short video of Reign.  You can see she seems drugged and the sad reality is she most likely is…  It is a common practice used to keep kids and even young babies “manageable”.  Sick I know, but the reality is there just aren’t enough hands to care for them all and so this is their solution even if it is wrong.   Poor Reign has possibly spent most or all of her life in a crib (her legs are probably stuck that way from laying), being fed this exact way, drugged and helpless.  My heart breaks…   You might also notice how she is intelligent by the way of her thinking twice about chewing in her shirt after being scolded a couple times.  These kids do have potential!

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Amazing little fighter Sophia!  Remember her before?

1003305_623799324305819_552575150_nJust look at her now!  This child has been home for around a year and look at how fabulous she looks!    Remember little Hollis from above?  Sophia had a little something to do with him finding his family.  It’s a pretty special story that  you can read here.   Go, read it!!!!

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And this precious child…  Keep in mind that this photo may be hard to look at, but it is reality.  The beautiful child shown on the left is Kyle, he is pure beauty, pure innocence, pure perfection…  Just look at those big brown eyes!   The neglected and starving child on the right is sweet Kyle just a couple of months after he was transferred to the mental institution.  This drastic transformation is not caused by disease or disability, but by mistreatment and neglect.  This child is literally dying in a mental institution in Russia…  There are thousands more just like this one.  Kyle has a family fighting to get him but with Putin’s ban on American adoptions, Kyle sits waiting and suffering.

UPDATE:  As I am writing this post, I have learned that sweet Kyle has passed away.  Rest in peace sweet one…  My heart is broken for this loss and for the family who wanted to make him their son.

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What will you do about it?  Share it or turn the other cheek?

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Finally, this guy…

OwenMany of you will recognize Owen, if you do not, please visit my beloved introduction of him on this page.  I have advocated for him many times and he holds a special place in my heart.    Everyday I wonder how he is doing.  You see he, like Precious Kyle picture above,  is in Russia.  I pray he has been found by a loving family in a “permitted” geographical location, that he is healthy, happy, and no longer waiting.  I dread learning that he has been transferred to a mental institution.  Please pray with me that this ban is lifted, that the children will be covered and safe and that changes will be made to improve the care they receive.  Love you sweet boy!

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So my brain has been all over the place and rightfully so, this isn’t even the half of it!  I do hope that some of you will be compelled to share and pray this blog, this post, really any part of my site you find moving enough to do so.  Sharing is really my main goal here.  The more people learn about all this, the more change can be made, the more prayers, the more good can be done!  God bless!

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