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Category Archives: Loss

So Raw…

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For so many, finding out the child they are carrying, the child they have been anticipating,  has a birth “defect”, is devastating news.   I hate hate hate using that word… DEFECT.  Like a badly made pair of shoes you have to return to the store because they fell apart before they were supposed to.  Isn’t that a terrible way to look at it?  That’s how much of the world, our world, looks at these precious children… poorly made and worthy of nothing more than to be destroyed so that parents can try for a “normal” baby afterwards.

This child will be “different”, right?  Is that what people are afraid of?  Being judged, scoffed at by others for having a child who is “disabled”, deformed, or being called the “R” word.  As terrible as this is, there is some valid concern here, “will my child be made fun of?”, “Will my child have a good life?”   But should that fear, yes that is all it is, FEAR…  really make one choose to do away with their child?   Does that in and of itself justify ending a life?   Of course not!    What happened to being fearless, strong and determined?  Why are we so afraid of everything?  Is this just our culture to turn a blind eye and run from anything that calls us to rise up and overcome?

It seems every culture in the world believes babies who are “different” should be dealt with or locked away forever.  Babies all over the world are abandoned in train stations, flushed down the toilet, tossed into pit latrines and left to drown in filth, sold into the sex trafficking industry, and so on and so on…    Even remote tribes people living deep in the jungles of the Amazon believe if a baby is born with a deformity,  it is the mothers duty to kill the child.  terrible right?  I can’t even believe this happens?  This is all worse than anything I could ever imagine happening!

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I was recently driving and spotted a bumper sticker the other day.  I saw the notorious pro-abortion statement which said, “If it’s not your body, it’s not your choice.”  This statement is the most ridiculous thing.  Yet so many very intelligent politicans, doctors, educators and so on, keep saying this?  Agreeing with this, like it makes so much sense.  However, here I am looking at this statement and all I can think is this;  When you are choosing to stop the beating heart of someone other than yourself, it is no longer “YOUR” body.   Even if that beating heart is contained inside your body, it is still undeniably, someone else’s beating heart.  How can anyone who is well educated argue with that?  Its very simple isnt it?  Yet nobody seems to “get it”.

 

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And really, is it a fair argument to push to terminate a life because the baby isn’t perfect or “normal” whatever that means.  Aren’t we all “defective” and  abnormal somehow?   How many of us have perfect minds and/or bodies?  Do any of us have perfect skin, straight teeth, flawless physique, brilliant minds, personalities free of oddness and mental issues, etc?   Yeah I thought so.   So why is it so hard for would be parents to realize this?

 

What’s worse?  Finding out your child has a fatal condition.  One that will take the life of your precious love before he or she takes their first breath.  Or maybe minutes, or hours after birth.    Maybe people figure they don’t want to go through the pregnancy and birth only to lose the baby…  I mean, pregnancy is tough, I know, I have had three tough ones.  Maybe it just seems to hard, too real to actually meet this child, bond and then say goodbye.   For thousands upon thousands, abortion is the fate their child succumbs to when a disheartening diagnosis enters the picture.

But for some, many in fact… they choose life.  They choose to take the chance.  They choose to let whatever will happen, happen.    THIS is one such story.

The couple in this short video are giving us a precious glimpse into that world.    It is unimaginable.  Raw.  Heart shattering.  But it’s beyond precious… that little tiny light they’ve shared with us.  They chose life for their child even thought they knew it would be the hardest path they’ve ever taken.  And for that, I commend them.   I thank them.

 

Dissclaimer:

All this said, it is well established throughout my blog what my stance is on abortion.  However, I believe some  people try to do the best they can in their circumstances.  Many have regrets, and many don’t.  My post is not intended to judge anyone for their choices, it is only to shed light on this very hard topic.   Hateful comments are not appreciated.  If you care to share your story, you are welcome to.

 

 

 

Alert The Media!

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Holy Moly I am publishing another post y’all!, can you believe it?!   Has it been six months yet?  Ha!  I keep saying I am going to keep up with this but alas I stink at juggling two little girls a teenager and a blog!  A girl can still try though!  Where has my mind been?  Let’s see…

Little Emi Roo…

Little Emira

Little Emira

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My Pookie girl, Ari…

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My new teenager…

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Notice a trend?  He calls Emira his baby.

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My Husband…

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The kidlets…

Like precious Hollis who just came home from Ukraine to be with his new mommy and daddy.

1005510_577601198963907_681898616_nHis parents, the Buhman’s are wonderful folks who I met recently and who helped me during my pregnancy/bedrest with Emi by bringing my family a meal.  They are super sweet and I couldn’t be happier that they live just minutes from me!!   Hollis is 2 and he was raised in a decent orphanage.  But even in a decent place, they still didn’t feed him anything but puree’d food so they could shovel it in his mouth at lightning speed.  He didn’t ever have time to chew, so he never learned.  Since gotcha day, his parents have been teaching him how to chew and sign and he is doing wonderfully.  He is adjusting very well and it is rumored he loves to snuggle with his mommy.  Isn’t he sweet?!    To read more about this amazing family and their journey, go here:  http://www.thebuhmanbunch.blogspot.com/

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Precious Reign…

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She is 14 years old, yes 14!  The extreme malnutrition and confinement to her crib has left her like this.  She is tiny!

Here is a short video of Reign.  You can see she seems drugged and the sad reality is she most likely is…  It is a common practice used to keep kids and even young babies “manageable”.  Sick I know, but the reality is there just aren’t enough hands to care for them all and so this is their solution even if it is wrong.   Poor Reign has possibly spent most or all of her life in a crib (her legs are probably stuck that way from laying), being fed this exact way, drugged and helpless.  My heart breaks…   You might also notice how she is intelligent by the way of her thinking twice about chewing in her shirt after being scolded a couple times.  These kids do have potential!

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Amazing little fighter Sophia!  Remember her before?

1003305_623799324305819_552575150_nJust look at her now!  This child has been home for around a year and look at how fabulous she looks!    Remember little Hollis from above?  Sophia had a little something to do with him finding his family.  It’s a pretty special story that  you can read here.   Go, read it!!!!

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And this precious child…  Keep in mind that this photo may be hard to look at, but it is reality.  The beautiful child shown on the left is Kyle, he is pure beauty, pure innocence, pure perfection…  Just look at those big brown eyes!   The neglected and starving child on the right is sweet Kyle just a couple of months after he was transferred to the mental institution.  This drastic transformation is not caused by disease or disability, but by mistreatment and neglect.  This child is literally dying in a mental institution in Russia…  There are thousands more just like this one.  Kyle has a family fighting to get him but with Putin’s ban on American adoptions, Kyle sits waiting and suffering.

UPDATE:  As I am writing this post, I have learned that sweet Kyle has passed away.  Rest in peace sweet one…  My heart is broken for this loss and for the family who wanted to make him their son.

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What will you do about it?  Share it or turn the other cheek?

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Finally, this guy…

OwenMany of you will recognize Owen, if you do not, please visit my beloved introduction of him on this page.  I have advocated for him many times and he holds a special place in my heart.    Everyday I wonder how he is doing.  You see he, like Precious Kyle picture above,  is in Russia.  I pray he has been found by a loving family in a “permitted” geographical location, that he is healthy, happy, and no longer waiting.  I dread learning that he has been transferred to a mental institution.  Please pray with me that this ban is lifted, that the children will be covered and safe and that changes will be made to improve the care they receive.  Love you sweet boy!

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So my brain has been all over the place and rightfully so, this isn’t even the half of it!  I do hope that some of you will be compelled to share and pray this blog, this post, really any part of my site you find moving enough to do so.  Sharing is really my main goal here.  The more people learn about all this, the more change can be made, the more prayers, the more good can be done!  God bless!

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